Pine Hill - Eureka CA

Off to it’s best start in team history (2-0) with a severe thrashing of Bodie’s Boners, Team Bulldog exacts a measure of revenge against a team that had swept them into oblivion the previous year... and the year before that.

“I am just f****’n thrilled, thrilled I tell you, that we can get this damned monkey off our back and take down those damned Boners” remarked Coach Shell

This was their first victory over the boners. (1-3 lifetime record)

“and sure as shit won’t be our last” he added.

“The Boners have always been hard on the road, but this time we sucked it up and went in ready for action”

Led by 5th round draft pick Darroll “Who” Phillips, (Chico) the Bulldogs slapped the boners up and down the court over a period of four days.

Tsagarakis (CPP) was the only hope for Bodie, leading the team with 24 points. Grayson Moyer added another 18 for the Boners.

But the depth of the TB roster made the boners easy to handle.

“The Boners were poking at us all night trying to find a weakness, but in the end they were unable to keep it up... the pressure I mean”

Team Bulldog looks now to stay in first place with a win next week over Alex’s Killer Whales.

“We’ll slap them fish-munching Shamus silly too” Shell concluded

Amtsterdam, Holland / Eureka, CA

After 2 years of struggling, a renewed Team Bulldog came together last night with the crushing and humiliating defeat of their arch rivals Team Bif.

Clever drafting, and the return of 2 key standouts from last year's team seem to have finally given Team Bulldog a fighting chance.

"Victory is Ours!" was the somewhat audible chant outside of the teams' former headquarters in Amsterdam. Revelers filled the streets stumbling over each other in a semi-ludicrous orgy of celebration. Several fell into the canals.

The 87-35 rout is the first victory over Team-Bif since the teams' inception in 2005.

"As far as Im concerned, my work here is done." proclaimed Bulldog coach Art Shell.

"We could end the season now, and our fans would be content, all they want to see is Bif go down...Anything else is just gravy on biscuits"

"I was hired to do a job, and that job was to spank Team-Bif!" Shell continued

"Payback is a bitch, ain't it?"

Coach Shell referring to the now infamous game last year that evolved into a huge brawl, and subsequently the largest fines in the leagues history.

In that match-up, Team-Bif intentionally ran up the score against an unprepared and ill-equipped Team Bulldog that had capitulated early in the game.

"But now the tables are turned, I think that Team-Bif will think twice the next time we meet"

Calls to the morning sports talk radio shows seemed to support the thrashing of Team-Bif, but some were quick to point out that Team-Bif was only fielding 2 active players.

The remainder of the team was disqualified for academic and behavioral reasons.

"With the exception of Sheufelt, they went out and drafted a shit-load of dumb-asses and pillow-biters" one caller stated.

But Team Bulldog was playing shorthanded as well.

"To be fair" Shell added, "I benched our Dominguez Hills players and our Sonoma State star just so they couldn't cry foul"

Team Bulldog fielded just 5 players and had no reserves for the entire game.

"But, I know he's (Coach Justin) gonna whine… so we're welcoming a rematch anytime they want to bring it" Shell continued

"We'll slap those hosers up and down the court any day of the week"

Shell summed up in his closing words

"Look out kids… we've got more than just clever PR this year, we've got a m***** f***'n team too…"

Team Bulldog starts off the season 1-0 and faces Bodie's Boners next week.

Downtown Eureka, CA

It’s hard to believe it, but Team Bulldog is in First Place.

For the first time... well, EVER.

After two years of lousy coaching, lousy drafting, fighting, and shitloads of bad luck, Team Bulldog may have finally found a winning combination.

“yeah, we just let Kochevar do all the work” Shell jokingly remarked

But the depth of the team is what is really making it happen. 5th rounder Phillips had double digits for the 3rd week in a row and 6th rounder Yearby (Dom. HIlls) finally stepped up and made a solid contribution finishing with 12 fantasy points.

The only weak spot was the still disappointing Hatch (UCSD) who has yet to make it into the top 5 this year.

The game marks the 3rd win in history against the Killer Whales with Team Bulldog leading the series 3-1

“They’ve (Whales) always had a good team, but hell, we’ve just been lucky against them” said Coach Shell

“I think we just know how deal with (Alex) - we just distract him with shiny objects”

Morgan’s Marauders are now in the cross-hairs for team bulldog.

Last year they split their two matchups and the the Marauders lead the series 2-1. Clearly, the Bulldogs are eager to even things out.

“I’m gonna stay sober this week just to make sure we put another notch in the W column”

TB 97 - Killerwhales 87.

What-a-Burger Arena Boron, CA  Attendance 112 ( +/- 111 )